Feeling a little awkward

Today was a busy day, I had a terrible headache, followed by a commitment to my neighbors to keep their kids. I loved every moment of it, that only problem was keeping to kids increased my desire. I guess I am usually so removed from little ones that I don't have time to miss it. It is also hard I guess to miss something you have never had. I just see these smart beautiful children, hear my husband talk about how our little girl would be and my heart breaks. I want to give him this joy and I want to share it with him. To hear the thoughts of a child and to know in your heart you will give you child the best life possible. I just really want this and I hope that we can see this through. I hope God fulfills our desire. I often am so broken, I am hopeful today but still deeply saddened by the amount of patience I am having to display.